getting vs. giving

“…if God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? what I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving.” Matthew 6:30

God did you mean it when you said walk by faith and not by sight, because that sounds great but that’s scary, walking that way requires me losing my senses - not knowing in certainty where my foot will land next, not seeing fully what tomorrow will look like. Do you know how much courage that will take?! Do you know how much leaning in, how much trusting?! I believe you can do anything God, that your power is limitless, but if experiencing that fullness means losing my grip, will I chose it? I have plans that seem great Jesus! Have you looked them over? I have an outline of how’d I’d like things to go and it seems like it could work out pretty great? God did you mean it when you say you can do exceedingly, abundantly more than I can ask or imagine, because I think I’m dreaming pretty big here! I like to see where I’m going, I like to account for what’s next - so will I choose your best over my own? God, did you mean it when you say that your plan will always prevail, because I think that’s not always what I want to hear - I don’t think that fits into the life I’ve formulated for myself but I do know that I want you…

so if it means laying down my dreams for better ones,
if it means never seeing my plans play out,
if it means getting my heart broken,
if it means waiting and waiting and waiting,
if it means not knowing what’s next,
if it means throwing myself into every day by faith and not by sight…

I will choose you, I will trust you and I will live a life looking beyond getting and onwards to what you are giving because I believe you when you say what you give in love is far better than anything else I could ever find.