middle school journal

here I am, twenty years old sitting in my apartment far from where I’m from and far from where I’m going, my temporary home. here I am wondering who I am and trying to formulate how to become who I want to be, I feel stuck somewhere in between the two. here I am with a swirling mind and unsettled heart, then I stumble across a bit of my middle school journal. a quiet reminder that some things change and some do not, a reassurance that all things are beautiful in their time. thank you to everyone who is part of this story, thank you to everyone who has let me be a part of theirs.
love always, xo.

Who You Were // November 15th, 2010

the saddest part of today was remembering who you were.

How golden you were. How dull you are now. You’re just like the next one. In a sea of crimson you were the sparkle, the rainbow, the neon, the bang.

The saddest part of today was remembering who you were

A perfect porcelain doll almost untouchable to the evil that lurked around you. You were my light, my hope of the innocence that could be left.

The saddest part of today was remembering who you were

The words that flowed from your mouth into the air creating a fragrance beyond compare. Complimenting my words with yours. Ying and Yang.

The saddest part of today was remembering who you were

Forever you will live in my head in prestine condition, the person you were. Whether or not i will ever see that person that lives in the dark corners of my mind materialize before me ever again is something i struggle with everyday. Even though i see you, i miss you. I can talk to you but it’s like yelling into the howling wind. I need you, but i must go on without you. I always wanted to grow up, and so did you, until we did.