the wandering way home
I am a thinker. I get caught in my head. I amble in moments that I find beautiful and I let feelings be felt to their full extent. there is both a tremendous benefit and tremendous disadvantage to being this way.
I love. I love deeply, I love fearlessly, I love when it doesn’t make sense.
I love things and people and places and things I’ve never seen.
I love with everything I am. there is both a tremendous benefit and tremendous disadvantage to being this way. I seek authenticity and vibrancy, real things, truly bright things, things that are undeniably unique, things that scream of the glory of creation, things that make you believe in a wildly creative God who didn’t spare a detail. those are the things I am always looking for. I believe the best in everything whether it be a broken person, a withering plant, a deadly diagnosis or any other seemingly impossible possibility you can think of. I am always hoping with everything I have that the good will overcome the bad and that a turn around is just on the horizon. there is both a tremendous benefit and tremendous disadvantage to being this way. I am a wanderer, I am everywhere and back in a day, I don’t necessarily have a lot of places to go but I like to be moving, traveling, expecting for something magical to happen along the way. No tangible place feels like home anymore, no tangible place feels like rest or like peace, but as I’ve realized in this bit of life where I’ve been in a constant transition, people are what is home, never places. in some ways I feel like my wandering comes from searching for things I’ve lost along the way and things I haven’t even had the tremendous adventure of finding yet. in some way my wandering comes from chasing smoke, things past and things that have yet to be. there is both a tremendous benefit and tremendous disadvantage to being this way.
In my thinking, in my loving, in my seeking, in my believing for the best, in my wandering, I often find myself chasing sunsets. usually, when I need it most, God is true to His character and provides a dazzling sky on fire and as it slowly smolders I follow the way it leads. down back roads, past familiar streets, taking questionable turns, following an unplanned route yet trusting every mile of it, mesmerized by the wonder of it all.
I’ve been doing this now for years and honestly it has become very normal for me, but recently God opened my eyes to the lesson He has been teaching me on our adventures down the wandering way that I take chasing those setting suns - everyday life should look like those exhilarating pursuits. what if my life, your life, our lives looked a lot more like that, full out chasing what is glorious with a sense of urgency, full out chasing God and all that He is, not particularly concerned with where the road leads as long as it keeps us going fast towards the light. not trying to map out each twist and turn but just letting what is good and true be the guide. what if I let myself feel how I feel in those moments all the time? so free, so alive, so full, with windows down, music blaring, wind beating hard from all sides with the most beautiful colors shining bright above. no need to look around or behind, only ahead, eyes set on Him. what if I became less fixated on where I came from or even where I’m going and I learned to just soak in the beauty of following and all that it brings? the sunsets, the hidden places, the intersections, the discovering. what if everyday life looked a lot like the adventures down the wandering way?
there would be both tremendous benefit and tremendous disadvantage to living this way…
but the view you get is definitely worth it. so instead of rushing through to get where I’m going,
I’ll be somewhere down the wandering way chasing what is glorious.